I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
