i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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