if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
