i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
