Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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