obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
