How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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