yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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