I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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