Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
