You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
