Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
