Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
