Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
