Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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