Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
