Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
