He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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