The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
