I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
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