remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Is this like a preordered booty call?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
