nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
