I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
