omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
