apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
