I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
