So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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