no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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