I wanna bring you to show and tell
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
where does the pee come out of this thing
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Randomize
