I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
