i permit you to call me
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
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