physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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