True but thats because hes a fetus.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
