so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
He kissed a someone with a penis
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
