Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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