There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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