I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
