I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
