The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
