I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
