I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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