Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
