Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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