Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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