And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
