Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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