There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
