North Korea, Best Korea!
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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