literally had 100 drinks last night.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
