You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
