and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
